Last but not least: Sexy with a capital S.

Some subjects have none, some subjects have many: five sexy concepts of Social Psychology.

The first blog I ever wrote was about the self-fulfilling prophecy and the term hasn’t stopped popping up everywhere. The idea that what I think of someone can change who they are is profoundly sexy. As social beings we have the potential to influence every person that we interact with and do so sometimes without even knowing it!

Understanding the spotlight effect has significantly changed the amount of time in a day I spend thinking about myself and what other people think of me. When I get up in the morning I no longer have to worry about how my hair looks or if the colors of my bobby pins match because people usually don’t notice those kinds of things. This concept is sexy enough that I don’t have to be.

                           
The sleeper effect rhythms with sexy... or at least it should. I hate when this happens to me but the fact that I have an excuse for forgetting the sources of information and remembering information from sources that are not credible it pretty legit. I just experienced this effect when trying to remember and convince someone that if their roommate dies they get their tuition paid and all A’s for the semester. I don’t remember where I heard it from but I swear it is true? Right?

You can never have enough ironic processes. Whenever we try not to think of something our unwanted thoughts become our unavoidable thoughts. Ironic processes are so sexy they will make you crazy… even when you try to avoid them you can’t get away!

Affective forecasting is a social psychological concept that has had a big effect on my life. My dad is older than most and a lot less healthy. He visits the doctor weekly and really struggles with his health. When I think about the future and my dad passing, I always think about how I am going to be miserable forever. Because I understand affective forecasting, although I know I will love and miss him forever, I now understand that I will be able to move on and be okay eventually. Can you say sexy?

And it only gets better: five sexy social psychologists

Robert Cialdini is one sexy son of a gun. What isn’t sexy about a man who can make you say Yes! I read one of his books for my trade book and his work is truly impressive.

Dan Wegner… enough said. From playing footsie and keeping secrets to that damn  “White Bear” sexy should be his middle name.

John Gottman what is more sexy than understanding love. Because of his love lab and many years of research others can know what makes love last.

Even his name is sexy: Zajonc. Furthermore, he knows what makes us ”peak”… or “choke!”

There is no other sexier than Zimbardo. Who wouldn’t want to be his prisoner? You know you want to be prisoner 819.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Brief Summary:

 

The authors of the book, Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, believe that persuasion is not an art, but a science. That is, by learning and implementing the simple strategies provided, anyone can see big differences in their persuasive powers. The challenge of persuading others to do what we want is not always easy and it is a challenge that we face every day. The big question is “what makes people say yes to our requests?” The book, Yes! 50 scientifically proven ways to be persuasive, offers straightforward persuasion tactics that anyone can apply to become a better and more effective persuader, whether you are a college student or the owner of a corporation. The book is filled with explanations of conducted research to depict just how reliable the strategies are, as well as many everyday examples of how the strategies can be carried out in the work place or in a social setting. While reading this book you are literally offered 50 scientifically proven ways to be persuasive in 50 short chapters; interestingly, it also provides strategies to avoid the common pitfalls of persuasion that we typically fall victim too. In total, the book, Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, presents brilliant ways to make small changes to your persuasion techniques that will allow you to improve your persuasion power and make people to say “Yes!”

Why I Chose this Book:

I chose this book because I felt as though I would greatly benefit from reading it at this point in my life. As a junior here at SU, I will soon have to be doing a lot of persuading. Whether it be persuading others that I am a good candidate to hold an leadership position in organizations I am apart of or persuading graduate school programs that I am worthy of the education they have to offer, having good persuasion strategies will be very important in the near future. Now that I have read this book, I am happy with the decision I made to read it. Not only did I learn 50 great ways to better persuade others, I also got to read about a lot of interesting research and learn really cool facts I didn’t expect to get out of this book (for example: did you know the first thing ever sold on eBay was a broken laser pointer that was bought for $14!)

Recommendation:

Because of the knowledge I was able to obtain from reading the book, I would definitely recommend it to others. Although I was a little overwhelmed when thinking about how I would remember or even get through 50 strategies and chapters, each of the 50 proven ways to be persuasive provided were simple and straightforward. First and foremost I would recommend this book to business workers or owners. Despite the fact that there were several examples of how to persuade your friends and family, many of the ways to persuade others would work best in a professional or work setting. That being said, I would also recommend it to others, students specifically, because one day we will all be business people. Knowing these strategies to enhance our persuasion power is knowledge that is priceless. Although we may have much experience with persuasion or learned about it in classes like Social Psychology, this book provides a more in-depth look into the science of persuasion. It provides detailed insight to studies that have explored persuasion and persuasion techniques that you couldn’t get from any textbook.

Relevance:

Reciprocity, although unstated, is a norm of social behavior in which we treat others how we have been treated (Gouldner, 1960). When we receive favors, gifts, or nice gestures we will sometimes go to extreme measures to return what we have been given. Many of the strategies presented in the book involved the norm of reciprocity (Gouldner, 1960). As mentioned in the book, reciprocity leads to a strong foundation of relationships and a strong foundation to persuasion. This is relevant to me because like all social beings, I constantly reciprocate the favors that have been done for me. Although I would not want to use this concept in an unethical way, I now understand the ways in which I can use reciprocity to my advantage and to improve my persuasive power.

The theory of Cognitive Dissonance explains how holding attitudes that are inconsistent with our behaviors causes psychological arousal/tension that is unwanted therefore we become motivated to reduce these feelings of discomfort and change either our attitudes or behaviors to be more consistent with each other (Festinger, 1957). Cognitive dissonance can increase your power of persuasion. Imagine someone who you do not like very much. Now imagine that person asking you to do you to do a favor for them. If you did multiple favors for them your behavior would not match the attitudes you hold towards them and your attitudes would begin to change; you would begin see that person more favorably. The situation explained above is one that is similar to an example and strategy presented in the book. This is relevant to me because not only do I now know the benefits of asking for a favor, I will be more likely to get what I want by better understanding the relationship between cognitive dissonance and persuasion.

Although some may try to resist social influences, conformity is similar to a reflex (Milgram, 1969). There are many influences that help to explain our everyday actions. As social beings the majority of our influences come from other people whether we know it or not. This can be shown through laugh tracks on television (Fein, Goethals, & Kurgler, 2007) as well as unconscious imitations of someone (Chartrand & Bargh, 1999). Many of the strategies in the book explain how to use social proof to your advantage when trying to persuade others. This is relevant to me because I now know that when trying to persuade someone, making them believe that “everyone is doing it” really can make a difference.

Likability is very important when it comes to persuasion. Most of the time likability comes through similarity. An example of this can be seen through research examining social mimicry (Bailenson & Yee, 2005); the more similar you act to someone’s behavior the more they come to like you. Many strategies in the book depicted how similarity leads to likability, which then leads to more successful persuasion. This is relevant to me because I can now understand the importance of relating to my audience and being liked. Although it can be hard to remember at times, being a close-minded bitch does not benefit you very much; especially, when it comes to persuasion.

It is common knowledge that we want something most when we can’t have it; or when it is scarce; this concept is similar to theory of Psychological Reactance (Brehm & Brehm 1981). This theory suggests that people react against threats to their beliefs by perceiving their threatened beliefs as more attractive (Brehm & Brehm, 1981). Scarcity has great influence of persuasion. If you are trying to persuade someone to buy one of your products this is a great tactic to use and is also one of the 50 persuasive strategies given in the book. This is relevant to me because as a college student that is part of many organizations I am fundraising all the time. The next time that I am selling shirts at the concourse tables I will make sure to let others know that they should get one before their size runs out! Although, this may seem silly my persuasive power will be increased due to the idea of scarcity, an idea that so many of us dislike.

Author:

After many years of falling victim to the pitfalls of persuasion, Dr. Robert Cialdini decided to go undercover at thousands of jobs researching the science and influence of persuasion. In the field of persuasion, Dr. Cialdini is one the most cited social psychologist; therefore it is only right to call him an expert. Not only is he a co-author for this book, Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, he is also the author of the book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Because Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive has such highly known authors and each of the 50 strategies the book provides is backed by extensive research, the book is very credible as well as very scholarly. After reading the book it is clear that it is based solely on scientific research and data rather than personal judgments.

Strengths:

“When can a bonus become and onus?” “Do favors behave like bread or wine?” “When is your name your game?” Throughout the book, questions like these were asked to explain each of the 50 proven ways to be persuasive; this is the thing that I enjoyed most about the book. The way in which these questions were asked made me want to keep reading! Another strength that the book has is the ways in which the questions presented are answered. Each chapter begins with a real-life example of how these questions may come about in our everyday lives. Following this, multiple scientific experiments that implemented and explored the influences of persuasion are explained to answer the questions. Importantly, each answer pertains to one of the 50 ways to be persuasive. After the questions were answered and further explained, examples of how the specific strategies could be used to benefit people in the office, in social settings, or in the home were given; I found this to be another strength of the book. The neat thing about this book is that as I finished reading it I was able to realize the usefulness of all the 50 strategies. Although it may not be all at once, I will eventually need and use them all. Because of this, I can honestly say that I can see myself looking through this book in the future or perhaps rereading it for personal benefit. I believe that anyone, even those different from myself, can read this book and not only learn simple and straight forward ways to increase their persuasive power but also many things about research and other random facts about the real world.

Weaknesses:

There are few shortcoming of the book; there was extensive research to support each of the 50 persuasive strategies and dozens of fun facts that kept it interesting. One thing that I believe could improve the book is broadening the audience to whom the book is directed to. Although I gained plenty of important knowledge from this book, I feel as though it was geared more towards older people. Many of the examples mentioned throughout the book explained how people could better persuade their coworkers or their children. As a college student I feel that the authors could have included examples that relate more to young adults like how to better persuade those who read graduate school applications. As I explained earlier, I chose this book because it is a crucial time in my life to learn about persuasion. That being said, there is potential improvement in targeting a broader scope of people.

Point/Message:

If I had to narrow it down to one thing, I believe that the “take home” point of this book is that small changes in your persuasion strategies can make a huge difference in your overall persuasive power. Whether it is changing the wording of your request to include the word “because” or coming up with a name that rhythms to make your next big project sound more appealing, with a small amount of effort you will hear the word “Yes!” more than ever before.

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Bailenson, J. N. & Yee, N. (2005). Digital Chameleons: Automatic assimilation of nonverbal gestures in immersive virtual environments. Psychological Science, 16, 215-222.

Brehm, S. S., & Brehm, J. W. (1981). Psychological reactance: A theory of freedom and control. New York: Academic Press.

Chartrand, T. L., & Bargh, J. A. (1999). The chameleon effect: The perception-behavior link and social interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 893-910.

Fein, S., Goethals, G. R., & Kugler, M. B. (2007). Social influence on political judgments: The case of presidential debates. Political Psychology, 28, 165-192.

Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press.

Goldstein, N. J, Martin, S. J., & Cialdini, R. B. (2008).Yes! 50 scientifically proven ways to be more persuasive. New York: Free Press.

Gouldner, A. W. (1960). The norm of reciprocity: A preliminary statement. American Sociological Review, 25, 161-178.

Milgram, S., & Toch, H. (1969) Collective behavior: Crowds and social movements. In G. Lindzey & E. Aronson (Eds.), The handbook of social psychology (2nd ed., Vol 4, pp. 507-610). Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley.

Tough love.

As social beings there are many social influences that help to explain our everyday actions. Although some may try to resist these social influences or believe that their actions are based solely on their own motives rather then on others, conformity, as well as obedience and compliance, is similar to a reflex (Milgram, 1969). During situations of social influences such as conformity people often follow group norms. Social influences such has those that cause obedience are produced by commands of authority. Another common form of social influence, and one that will be focused on today, occurs when direct requests are made to an individual. Situations set forth for compliance can take many forms but all call for a change in behavior due to the direct request made. In his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert

Cialdini (2007) describes several key request making strategies that set way for compliance. Among these advised tactics is Low balling; this tactic is based on a "start small" idea. The two-step compliance technique, known as low balling, occurs when a person secures an agreement/commitment with a request but then increases the dimensions of the request by revealing its hidden costs. That is, a person will receive a commitment to a small request from someone only to reveal that the other person truly committed to a much greater obligation. Cialdini et al. (1978) conducted a study examining low balling. In the study, experimenters called introductory psychology students on the phone to ask if they would be wiling to participate in a study for extra credit. Some of the students were told in the beginning of the conversation the time of the study and some where told at the end. In both conditions the time was the same (7 A.M.) but the time in which they received this information varied (either before or after they had agreed to participate). The results of the study, whether the students wanted to participate at 7 A.M.or not, showed an increase in sign-ups (Cialdini et al., 1978). Students who were asked to take part in the study before they were unaware of the time it was going to be held, committed themselves to participate and the sense of commitment did not change; even when it was revealed that the request was more costly then expected.

Imagine you are a first time car buyer. You see the car to the left; its a black Honda Civic. Although you are unaware of the reasons why, you have always wanted a car exactly like it. As you negotiate with the salesperson you explain to them that all you want is AC and a car that will last. The salesperson tells you that you are in luck because not only does everything in the car work, it can be yours for only $4000. I assume many of you have experienced or at least heard of many salesperson or car dealership stories that involve low balling. Get excited because here is another one! The situation described above happened to Dee this summer as he was looking for a new car. He was so excited to FINALLY have a reliable car, not to mention one with everything he was looking for. Dee began to think about the things he was going to do, places he was going to go, and how happy he was going to be when the car was his. It was as if he had fallen in love. Although all seemed well, as the paperwork began to be processed with every minute that went by the salesperson began to sweat more and more... must have been because he felt bad cheating a hard working kid. While he was working on the paper work the salesperson was called into his bosses office. When he returned Dee was informed that the car they were looking at was no longer available but there was a car exactly like it that would be marked the same price. Dee accepted the offer only to be informed that the car did not have a radio. There was also a problem with the Cadillac converter. Despite the problems, Dee had already made not only a verbal commitment but an emotional commitment with the car. Sadly, the problems only got worse with the car from then on (the air conditioning went out within a week during the blazing hot summer!) To say the least, what started off looking like a great offer became a huge pain in the ass for everyone. Not only did I have to help deal with all the horrible problems, Dee was in the same spot he started in before he bought the car: car-less!

... talk about wanting to hit someone in the lowballs.

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Caildini, R. B. (2007). Influence: The psychology of persuasion. New York: HarperCollins.

Caildini, R.B., Cacioppo, J.T., Bassett, R., & Miller, J.A. (1978). Low-balling procedure for producing compliance: Commitment then cost. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 34, 366-375.

Milgram, S., & Toch, H. (1969) Collective behavior: Crowds and social movements. In G. Lindzey & E. Aronson (Eds.), The handbook of social psychology (2nd ed., Vol 4, pp. 507-610). Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley.

Addicted to the bubble.

As social beings we are most comfortable when our attitudes match our behaviors (Festinger, 1957). Holding attitudes that are inconsistent with our behaviors causes psychological arousal/tension that is unwanted therefore we become motivated to reduced these feelings of discomfort; this concept is known as The Coginitive Dissonance Theory (Festinger, 1957). Studying Cognitive Dissonance lead Festinger to explore the ways in which people go about reducing the arousal they experience when participating in behavior that is counter to their attitudes. In the study by Festinger and Carlsmith (1959), how people justify attitude-discrepant behavior was examined by having participants complete a boring task and then rewarding them with either $1 or $20 to lie about the task to another participant (who was really a confederate) who has not yet completed the task. This task would create dissonance because they would be partaking in a behavior that did not match their attitude; they would be lying and saying the task was fun when they believed it was boring. When the experiments were over, the participants were asked how they truly felt about the task. Participants who received $20 admitted that the task was boring; interestingly, participants who received $1 changed their attitudes towards the task and reported that the task was somewhat enjoyable. This is due to insufficient justification. Insufficient justification is a condition in which people perform a task that is counter to their attitude without receiving a large reward. The

participants who received $20 dollars could justify why they completed the task because they received a large reward but the participants who only received $1 could not. The participants who received $1 participated in attitude-discrepant behavior without sufficient justification for doing so; the behavior created arousal that motivated them to change their attitudes (and say the task was more enjoyable) to reduce the dissonance that had been created.

Induced compliance is similar to insufficient justification in that a person is induced to do something that is counter to their attitudes without much persuasion. As many of you know by now, I work at YOGO Bowl (which is much better then Cherry Berry!) We have recently started selling bubble teas, smoothies, and slushies. Just like when I learned to make the smoothies and slushies, I knew Steve, my manager,

would want me to try the bubble teas I made. I was NOT excited. I had had bubble teas from other places in Austin before and I hadn't liked them very much. When I learned to make the bubble teas Steve did not let up and asked me to try them. As I made more and more bubble teas each time I worked, I began to try them even when Steve wasn't there so I could give customers my opinion about each flavor when they asked. My attitudes towards bubble tea slowly began to change. No matter how hard I didn't want to like it the cognitive dissonance got me! It took some getting used to but now... I am completely head-over-heels in LOVE with the bubble tea (Chai is my favy:) Ehhhh although I hate to say it, I guess giving in isn't always so bad! haha _____________________________________________________________________

Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press.

Festinger, L., & Carlsmith J. M. (1959). Cognitive consequences of forced compliance. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 47, 382-389.

Different strokes for different folks.

Persuasion is a process of social influence in which attitudes are changed. Although to many persuasion may be a difficult task, to some it is an art. Perhaps persuasion is difficult for some because they do not understand the "Elaboration Likelihood Model" proposed by Petty and Cacioppo (1986). This dual-process model of persuasion purposes two routes to persuasion: a central route and a peripheral route. The central route of persuasion is used when a person thinks carefully and critically about the arguments being communicated to them and the peripheral route is used when the argument being communicated is influenced by positive or negative cues rather then its strength. Throughout research,

this model has provided a framework that helps others to understand the process of persuasion and persuasion communication (Petty & Wegener, 1998) . Another reason people may not be great persuaders is because of other problems that get in the way such as the concept known as Psychological Reactance. This theory suggests that people react against threats to their beliefs by perceiving their threatened beliefs as more attractive (Brehm & Brehm, 1981).

Before I met Dee, I prided myself on how easily I could persuade others. Whether it was my family, friends, or teachers it wasn't very hard to get my way because I understood Petty and Cacioppo's dual-process model (1986). I was able to change my persuasion communication to fit whoever I was trying to persuade. With Dee, I believe that the psychological reactance theory comes into effect every time an argument that he doesn't agree with comes about. Take our religion as an example. He and I both have different religions. One day my mother invited him to church

and he stated that he wouldn't be able to go until he talked to him mom about it (his religion is very strict about that kind of thing). Later on that night, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal so I began to explain my beliefs and how I didn't understand his views about not being able to go to another church. I also explained to him that when I envisioned my future I wanted my husband and I to be a big part of the church (and the same church at that.) He felt as though I was trying to persuade him to go to church with me (although I wasn't, I was just being honest) and needless to say, after that conversation he clung to his religion more then I had ever seen in the 8 months we had been together. He even began to go to church with his family EVERY Sunday although he had not done so for months or maybe years.

Although religion is a topic we have learned to avoid, many other things come up everyday that require attempts towards persuasive communication. It is pretty frustrating to be able to persuade everyone but him! Despite this problem, I know there is a way to persuade him and one day I will learn how...

3 words: Perfecting. Fried. Chicken.

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Brehm, S.S., & Brehm, J.W. (1981). Psychological reactance: A theory of freedom and control. New York: Academic Press.

Petty, R.E., & Cacioppo, J.T. (1986). Communication and persuasion: Central and Peripheral routes to attitude change. New York: Springer-Verlag.

Petty, R.E., & Wegener, D.T. (1998). Attitude change: Multiple roles for persuasion variables. In D. Gilbert, S. Fiske, & G. Lindzey. (Eds.), The handbook of social psychology (4th ed., pp.323-390). New York: McGraw-Hill.

There is no I in team...but there is one in prejudice.

Whether conscious or subconscious we all hold stereotypes and prejudices due to our natural social categorizations and our social learning. In the past, stereotypes and prejudices were much more obvious and shown through deliberate discrimination between groups. Nowadays this discrimination is more likely to be displayed when it is "safe" and unlikely to be detected because people want to see themselves as fair although they may still harbor feelings of discomfort towards other groups (Hass et al., 1992).

The Implicit Association Test, also known as the IAT, is a measure that helps to detect and compute a person’s unconscious thoughts and feelings about different groups (Greenwald et al., 1998). It does this by having participants complete a word/picture association task. An example of how this is done is shown to the left.

A participant completing an African American - European American IAT will be shown a computer screen with the word "Black" and "Good" in the top left-hand corner and the word "White" and "Bad" in the top right-hand corner. In the middle of the screen a picture that is associated with either the "Black" or "White" category will be shown. The participant is asked to sort each of the pictures into the correct “Black/Good” or “White/Bad” category by pressing the “e” key (representing the left side of the screen) or “i” key (representing the right side of the screen). Before taking the IAT participants are told to respond as fast as possible to the images they see; therefore, the reaction times become directly associated with one’s unconscious thoughts and feelings. If a participants reaction time is faster when pairing the "Good" terms and pictures of black faces than when pairing the "Good" terms and pictures of white faces, this person may unconsciously associate "Black" and "Good" and ""White" and "Bad". 

As I looked through the numerous IAT tests to decide which I would prefer to take, 3 of the IAT tests stood out: the African American - European American IAT, the Fat-Thin IAT, and the Religions IAT.

The first test I completed was exactly like the IAT explained above (the African American - European American IAT). The results showed a moderate automatic preference for white people compared to African American people. These results were not consistent with my prior beliefs about my behavior towards this group. Throughout my life I believe that I have had more contact with African Americans then European Americans. Growing up in South Austin and going to Akins High School, European Americans were the minority compared to Hispanics and African Americans and although my best friend is White, my other half is African American.   

I believe that this IAT is showing an attitude that is consistent with my culture as an American. As an American, African Americans are often viewed as more unfavorable or the minority. Growing up in America I believe that although I may not consciously know that I prefer Whites over African Americans I have been taught that that is the more favorable choice. Despite the fact that I was not aware of my preference for Whites I understand where and how it may have been created. Completing the IAT has made me think about my prejudices very differently. I am now more aware of them and will no doubt think about the results of my IAT when interacting with White or African Americans and when having to choose between the two groups.

As a former athlete my health and weight are very important to me. This is why the second IAT I chose to complete was the Fat-Thin IAT. The results showed a moderate automatic preference for thin people compared to fat people. I believe that the results were pretty much consistent with my conscious beliefs about my behavior towards this group and because of this I believe that the IAT is showing my true attitudes. I am very self conscious about my weight (especially because I am no longer an athlete and have every opportunity to become fat) and sadly a part of me believes that if I become completely okay with others being overweight I may become overweight myself and that scares me. Because I know that it is not right to treat people that are thin/fat differently and my beliefs were confirmed, in the future I will think about my IAT results and try to change this prejudice of mine.
The last IAT I chose to complete was the Religions IAT. As many of you may or may not know I was formally a Phi Lamb and (although I have become more liberal) I am still moderately religious; this is why I chose to take this IAT. The results showed that my thoughts of Christianity and Judaism are significantly more positive then my thoughts about Islam and Buddhism. My results were somewhat inconsistent with my beliefs about my behavior towards these groups. Me being more favorable towards Christianity would make sense because I am a Christian but for me to have equal positive thoughts towards Judaism? Maybe it is because the two are similar? Or maybe they aren’t? I honesty have no idea. I believe that the IAT is showing not my prejudice but how little knowledge I have about the other three religions.

For the Religions IAT I had to sort certain words that were associated with a certain religion. I did not recognize many of the words to be associated with the certain religion they were assigned to therefore I believe that the results are inaccurate. Because I do not agree with the results, I will probably not think about them very much in the future. I may however take the time to learn about and appreciate other religions like Buddhism or Islam more.

Overall, I think that taking the different IATs was beneficial for me and others around me. Now that I better understand my implicit thoughts and feelings I can work on myself and changing my prejudices.

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Greenwald, A. G., McGhee, D. E., & Schwartz, J. L. K. (1998). Measuring individual differences in implicit cognition: The implicit association test. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1464 - 1480.

Hass, R.G., Katz, I., Rizzo, N., Bailey, J., & Moore, L. (1992). When racial ambivalence evokes negative affect, using a disguised measure of mood. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18, 786-797.

"Hi welcome to Yogo Bowl!"

Although I would have loved to enjoy my Fall Break away from school, work, and Georgetown it was my boss's 21st wedding anniversary and I was the only worker who had not already requested off. I was scheduled to work 3 seven-hour shifts for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday... Lucky me!

Despite the money I would make from the large amount of hours I was given, I was not excited. I decided to challenge myself and complete my "Day of Compassion" assignment on Sunday... the day of my last seven hour shift and the day I, as well as everyone around me, would need it the most.

I believe that compassion can be displayed in many ways:

-Being goodhearted -Being loving -Being sincere

-Being kind -Being honest -Being friendly

-Being understanding -Being sympathetic/empathetic -Being polite

My Sunday started off early. Even though I had had a late night and Dee was laying sound asleep, I woke up to make breakfast (eggs, bacon, and cinnamon rolls!) Breakfast was great... cleaning up the breakfast mess? not so much. I usually make Dee clean when I cook but I decided to take care of it that morning. After breakfast and the cleaning it was time to get ready for work! I made sure I got to work extra early to help Steve (my boss) with whatever he needed; he had actually been running behind that morning so it worked out great and he was able to leave earlier then he expected. I was somewhat excited about my Sunday shift because Sunday mornings at work are usually slow but of course this Sunday the customers started rolling in bright and early! With a huge smile on my face I welcomed them in and instead of going to the back to finish other things I was working on I decided to stay out to chat. I continued this throughout the day and learned more about my customers then I ever had (good and bad...I never realized how many people try to get more yogurt or toppings without paying for it!) After a long seven hour shift I was beat. When nine o'clock comes around on a Sunday I make sure the open sign is turned off at 8:59:55 so I can get out of there as fast as I can, but this Sunday a customer strolled in at 9:02 and I acted as if there was an hour until close and treated them like anyone else who came in letting them try samples and lolly gag. I was finally able to start closing at around 9:15 and I made sure to take my time so that the place was spotless. I got out a little later then usually but it was no biggy. After work I called my mom who was making  mums for my brother and sister's

homecoming that week. I have made them every year and she didn't sounds to happy to be making them herself. Because I planned on going home the next day anyway, I ended up packing my things and heading home to help her. The look on her face was priceless as I walked in the door!

Although I am normally a pretty compassionate person, I liked who I became by the end of my "Day of Compassion". I was more fun and a lot more of an enjoyable person! I believe that psychologically it takes more effort to be overly compassionate because instead of acting automatically, throughout the day I found myself constantly thinking of ways I could be more compassionate. The ways in which I went out of my to please others made my "Day of Compassion" not only psychologically costly but physically exhausting as well (waking up early... cleaning... when I was washing something in the back or cutting up brownies and someone came in or out of the store I would run to the front to make sure all the customers were welcomed as they entered and satisfied when they left... making mums). It might have been costly but the benefits definitely outweigh the costs of being compassionate. I believe that because I was overly compassionate I had a smile on my face that made me feel more happy and made the work day more enjoyable... and not only did my work day go by faster but being extra compassionate really paid off when it came to tips. I made $19.75 which is great compared to the usual $3-9!!!

The recipients of my compassion responded very well. I had never seen so many smiles in one day or smiled that much myself for that matter. I talked to customers about everything from their volleyball games to their grandchildren and a lot of the customers who came in alone seemed to really appreciate the conversation and kindness. Because the people I am closest too knew that it was my last day of my seven-hour shifts and expected me to be a bit on the grumpy side I believe that they attributed my compassion to my personality. I believe that the customers I encountered also attributed my compassion that day to my personality. I am generally a nice cashier and experiencing the compassion I put forth that day would only enhance their thoughts of my service. Who is happy working a minimum wage job as a busy college student? No one... therefore they must attribute the trait to my personality.

If I was to encourage others to behave in the same manner that I did for my "Day of Compassion" assignment I would explain to them the theory of Reciprocal Altruism (Krebs, 1987; Trivers,1985). This theory explains the benefits of being compassionate by stating that helping someone else can be in your best interest since it increases the chances that they will help you in return. As a Yogo Bowl employee, being compassionate and helping the customers with whatever needs or questions they have will make them more likely to help you by giving you tips or calling the manager and getting you a raise. When Steve called me to tell me my schedule on Tuesday he mentioned someone calling into Yogo Bowl about how great of a worker I am. He then explained that he now wants to teach me how to open the store and give me a key (a task that another employee that has been working at Yogo Bowl for over a year is not able to do) and I am sure with that comes a raise! I would also explain the Facial Feedback Hypothesis to encourage compassion (Laird, 1974). James Laird (1974) explored facial expressions and emotion and found that changes in facial expressions can lead to similar changes in emotion. Being compassionate, can lead to smiling which can lead to an overall more happy feeling!

If I were to predict my behavior in the future I would predict that it would be changed as a result of my "Day of Compassion".  Although it may be hard to be compassionate to others all the time due to different stresses and the busyness of life, there were a lot of things I liked about myself that day. I was happier and so were the people around me. My "Day of Compassion" has helped me appreciate all the good things that can come out of a simple smile or helping hand and has shown me how much a little compassion can do in this crazy world. Because of my "Day of Compassion" I believe that I will be an overall more successful person in understanding others and making a difference.

Last but not least I couldn't end without sharing my favorite song on the Yogo Bowl play list that repeated about 3 times every shift:

and as I would say to a customer who was heading out

"Thank you so much for coming in. Have a  great day!"

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Krebs, D. (1987). The challenge of altruism in biology and psychology. In C. Crawford, M. Smith, & D. Krebs (Eds.), Sociobiology and psychology: Ideas, issues, and applications (pp. 81-118) Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Laird, J.D. (1974). Self-attribution of emotion: The effects of expressive behavior on the quality of emotional experience. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 29, 475-486.

Trivers, R. L. (1985). Social evaluation. Menlo Park, CA: Benjamin/Cummings.

The Human Chameleon.

 

July 28 at 10:08am

Cody Summers posted to Demetrice Spearman:
"Fool, your like an icon in Georgetown haha I say I go to SU and the first thing that comes out their mouth is "Hey you know Dee right?" it is crazy!"

Everywhere we go somebody knows Dee.. walking somewhere that should take 5 minutes can take 20 minutes when he runs into someone and trust me he always does whether it is another student, a professor, a faculty member, or a parent

EVERYONE LOVES DEE.

To be known as a good self monitor one must have an ability for people to change their behavior in response to the context they are placed (Snyder, 1987). Dee often admits to having this ability.

"I know how to adapt to my surrounding. Depending on the situation I know how to act and what to say!"

-Demetrice Spearman

Along with his ability to adapt to his surroundings, Dee has also found himself a little acting career. This is Dee and some of his other co-workers on the set of Friday Night Lights.

Q: How is being able to act related to self-monitoring?

A: Snyder's research in self-monitoring (1974) shows that individuals who are high self-monitors agree with the statement "In different situations and with different people, I often act like very different persons." as well as the statement "I would probably make a good actor."

Although it can be a little difficult being the girlfriend of such a great self-monitor (because I myself am way less of one), I believe that it a overall good thing. He is a great person and lets be real: It is not always about what you have but about who you know.

... and one last thing just for fun

____________________________________________________________________

Snyder, M. (1987). Public appearances/private realities: The psychology of self-monitoring. New York: Freeman.

Snyder, M. (1974). The self-monitoring of expressive behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 30, 526-537.

"It doesn't matter to me!"... or does it?

Between school, work, and sleep there is hardly enough time in the day. I am always busy doing homework, stirring yogurt (I work at Yogo Bowl), or doing whatever else there is to be done like cook, eat, clean, and study.

Although I am in a great relationship,  

I often don't have time to read between the lines.

One morning, as I rolled out of bed to grab my assigned readings that I had to read before class and had fallen asleep to the night before, Dee mentioned that he was hungry and wanted fruit from The Commons. I told him that I had some reading to do but I would get ready and we could go as soon as I was done. As time went on Dee had gotten some animal crackers to snack on and had began some homework as well. When I finished my readings I asked if he still wanted to go to The Commons and his reply was "It doesn't matter to me". Because he was doing homework and did not appear to be in any rush to go get some fruit before class I assumed that we were no longer going to do so. When 9:50 came around we began to walk to class and our conversation went something like this:

Me: "I should have gotten some animal crackers before we left. I am kinda hungry!"

Dee: "We should have just gone to The Commons to get some fruit like we had planned!"

Me: "I didn't know you wanted to go so bad. You had been snacking and it didn't seem like you were in any rush to go? You know what time we have to leave before class so you should have said something!"

Dee: "I said I wanted to go this morning and when you asked me I didn't say no!"

Me: "You said it didn't matter?"

Dee: "Well I just thought I made it obvious..."

As social beings, we often have a tendency to misjudge the extent to which our emotions are detectable by others and believe that our feelings are more clearly expressed to others then they truly are. This tendency is referred to as The Illusion of Transparency (Gilovich, Savitsky, & Medvec, 1998). The story above is just one example of how The Illusion of Transparency has been displayed in my life; trust me there are MANY more! Being in a relationship can sometimes be stressful and the fact that we think we show our emotions more then we do can make it that much more difficult. Despite the confusion it may cause,  The Illusion of Transparency is an easily detectable concept and once understood can make it easier to read between the lines. I believe that the knowledge I have gained about The Illusion of Transparency will lead to a lot less bickering and a lot less of this song being repeated on my play list... haha

--sing this song when you are mad and tell me it doesn't make everything better--

_____________________________________________________________________

Gilovich, T., Savitsky, K., & Medvec, V.H. (1998). The illusion of transparency: Biased assessments of others' ability to read our emotional states. Journal or Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 332-346. 

\m/hat might have been.

Growing up I always dreamed of being a longhorn. As a senior in high school, as I was getting ready for college, The University of Texas was the only place I saw myself going and UT was the first college to receive an application from me. Although the many college fairs, the many college visits, and the many lectures about the disadvantages of going to a college so close to home I was set on going there. I was ecstatic! (Maybe as excited as Casey was when she got her first cell phone? http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=529768827247?) Me! Bernaddette! FINALLY going to college! FINALLY getting to be a longhorn! YAY:)

Somehow I ended up here… at good ol’ southwestern.

The beginning of my freshman year in college sucked. Over half of the graduating class from my high school went to UT and reading their facebook statuses about how they loved college made me want to smash my computer over one of my suite mate’s head (yea, I said it)! I was the only one from my school to come to southwestern and the atmosphere here definitely took some getting used to (to say the least).

At the time, my decision to come to Southwestern was something I tremendously regretted.

This was supposed to be me:

(If I would have gone to UT maybe the boy who has been cropped out of this picture would not have also been cropped out of my life?)

Day in and day out I imagined how life would be if I was a longhorn, if classes were big and easy, if I was near all my friends and family, and how my life would be if the events that led me to come to Southwestern would have been different.

Counterfactual thinking is a tendency to imagine what life would be like if certain events or outcomes (that did not happen) would have happened. Neal Roese and Amy Summerville (2005) found that the top three things people tend to regret in life are decisions about education, careers, and romance.

Although I once regretted coming to southwestern, I am now very grateful to have been given the opportunity to get such a great education. Fortunately I no longer regret my decision and I am a proud pirate!

Regret is a heavy burden to carry… I knew that all too well. I once imagined how good it would feel to sing this song and mean it.. and now I can... I love college:)

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Roese, N.J., Summerville, A. (2005). What we regret the most..and why. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31, 1273-1285.

"The Power House"

I used to hear that song every Friday night as we jogged into the gym to begin our warm up before the game and yup that’s what they called me “the power house” of the team. I played basketball since I was four years old. I started off with the YMCA and as I got older I played for various select teams. When I got to high school I was good enough to play ball for the varsity team and at the end of the year banquet my coach described me as the power house... the name stuck.

A lot of different things changed after my sophomore year in high school and my family began to fall apart. I was forced to quit the sport that I loved with all my heart and that was it for me and basketball for a long time. I couldn’t play it on the streets... I couldn’t watch it on TV... my heart would break every time I would even look at a ball.

Needless to say when intramurals came along my freshman year here at SU I was asked to play basketball several times so I finally gave in. I was rusty, yes, but I continued to work on my game and when intramurals came along my sophomore year we were a tough team to beat.

My boyfriend (Demetrice Spearman) plays basketball for the men's team. We joked around at the beginning of the summer about how I should play basketball for the school but by the end of the summer I was determined to make basketball “my everything” again. We worked hard. He helped me with my shot, jab-step, fakes, dribbling… with pretty much everything really and I started to look like the old me again. 

I went to talk to the coach about being on the team and playing pick-up with the girls and that’s when everything changed. 

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy is a process by which a perceiver’s expectations about a person lead that person behaving in ways that confirm the perceiver’s expectations. Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson (1968) explored this concept when studying teacher’s expectations of their students. The results from their research showed that teacher’s expectations influence student performance. For example, when certain children were thought to be more capable of intellectual growth than others, although randomly selected, these students had a significant increase in their IQ compared to other children in a control group (Rosenthal & Jacobson, 1968).

The expectations I was held too did not affect me in the classroom but on the court and unfortunately the only increase I experienced was an increase in my desire to stay far away from the basketball court once again.

When I went to go talk to the basketball coach she wasn’t very excited about my interests in playing on the team. I tried to convince her of my love for the sport but I feel as though she doubted me because I was a junior and hadn’t played for a team in so long. Her doubts were understandable, I was a junior trying to walk on to her varsity team, but it was those doubts that lead to my own doubts.

I went to watch the girls play pick-up that night after I had spoke with the coach. She ended up showing up to make an announcement to the team and although I was in the gym I was not called over like the rest of the girls. I overheard her telling them about how they needed to warn their professors about a game they would be away for during finals week, but that wasn’t the important part, the important part was that as I stood there in the gym watching her talk to the girls I saw her and I also saw a team, a team that I wasn’t a part of.


That day was the last day that I picked up a ball as well as the last day that I have even worked out. Sadly, her expectations of me were that I would not be able to handle playing on the team and the idea of me actually being able to is fading further and further away. Although I love the sport, I think my basketball career is officially done with.

 Despite the fact that she has never seen me play, the coach’s expectations and actions lead to my own self doubt and behavior that has set my progress back tremendously.

Thanks, coach.

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Rosenthal, R., & Jacobson, L. (1968). Pygmalion in the classroom: Teacher expectation and pupils' intellectual development. New York: Holt, Rinehart, and Winston.